How often do you think about your favorite potato chip? Not just the flavor, but the brand. Can you tell the difference? Come to think of it, how different would your life be if there wasn't such a variety of chips in modern society? Okay, maybe not that different. There might be one less aisle in the store. Unless you work in the potato chip industry, perhaps in a factory. Potato chip companies and their variety of products are a testament to how much potato chips have changed in the past 157 years of their existence. I doubt that George Crum thought that his accidental creation for that one unsatisfied customer in Saratoga Spring's Moon Lake Lodge all those years ago would become such a phenomenon.
Companies like Frito-Lay make a variety of potato chip products. They offer different flavors, such as sour cream and onion or BBQ, and dips as well. In addition, they make the classic potato chip with different ingredients and different methods. Every product comes with a bucket full of claims and guarantees. Well, how do you figure out which is really the best? You try them of course!
I'd like to try to focus more on individual methods. One such method is using anecdotes and quotes.
"These are.. fantastic!" the man shouted in surprise. He held a crispy, golden-brown potato slice at eye level from his seated position, still crunching away at the previous one he had popped into his mouth."If you were to put these on the menu, I'd come here much more often! Give my compliments to the cook!"
However, George Crum, said cook at the Moon Lake Lodge, didn't need to be told. He could hear the newly satisfied customer's exclamations of delight from his post in the kitchen. It was the exact opposite of what he had expected about his creation, which had been made to spite the picky customer. And he did put it on the Lodge's menu, one of the most popular in Saratoga Springs back in 1853, dubbing them "Saratoga Chips". 157 years later, we call them potato chips, and they can be found in just about any supermarket or menu, in a variety of flavors and ingredients. My intent was to find out which is the best.
Another possible technique I could use would be surprising statistics and/or facts.
In 2007, it was calculated that per capita potato chip consumption in the U.S. was 16 pounds. When you think about it, that's quite a bit. Sort of makes you wonder what kind was eaten the most. It's plausible it was the best one, the one in high demand. But with all those flavors and forms in the chip aisle at the supermarket, which would be considered worthy of that title? It's also plausible that the best way to find out is to try them and see how they stack up, so that's what I did.
The final technique I tried was proposing a dilemma.
Imagine you're running through the supermarket, gathering the last of the necessities for your family gathering or birthday party or what have you. You slide into the snack aisle, looking for something to occupy your guests until the real meal is served. Coming to a stop in front of the Lay's section of the shelves, you suddenly notice how many types and flavors of potato chips there are. Well, you really only need one bag. How do you choose from this sea of munchies? If only you had an unbiased opinion on what would be the biggest crowd-pleaser! Someone who has tried, evaluated, and compared them! Well, if this is a real dilemma for you, you've picked up the right paper to read. I've tried them and I'm willing to share my findings for the benefit of overwhelmed consumers.
"These are.. fantastic!" the man shouted in surprise. He held a crispy, golden-brown potato slice at eye level from his seated position, still crunching away at the previous one he had popped into his mouth."If you were to put these on the menu, I'd come here much more often! Give my compliments to the cook!"
However, George Crum, said cook at the Moon Lake Lodge, didn't need to be told. He could hear the newly satisfied customer's exclamations of delight from his post in the kitchen. It was the exact opposite of what he had expected about his creation, which had been made to spite the picky customer. And he did put it on the Lodge's menu, one of the most popular in Saratoga Springs back in 1853, dubbing them "Saratoga Chips". 157 years later, we call them potato chips, and they can be found in just about any supermarket or menu, in a variety of flavors and ingredients. My intent was to find out which is the best.
Another possible technique I could use would be surprising statistics and/or facts.
In 2007, it was calculated that per capita potato chip consumption in the U.S. was 16 pounds. When you think about it, that's quite a bit. Sort of makes you wonder what kind was eaten the most. It's plausible it was the best one, the one in high demand. But with all those flavors and forms in the chip aisle at the supermarket, which would be considered worthy of that title? It's also plausible that the best way to find out is to try them and see how they stack up, so that's what I did.
The final technique I tried was proposing a dilemma.
Imagine you're running through the supermarket, gathering the last of the necessities for your family gathering or birthday party or what have you. You slide into the snack aisle, looking for something to occupy your guests until the real meal is served. Coming to a stop in front of the Lay's section of the shelves, you suddenly notice how many types and flavors of potato chips there are. Well, you really only need one bag. How do you choose from this sea of munchies? If only you had an unbiased opinion on what would be the biggest crowd-pleaser! Someone who has tried, evaluated, and compared them! Well, if this is a real dilemma for you, you've picked up the right paper to read. I've tried them and I'm willing to share my findings for the benefit of overwhelmed consumers.
I would like to see the original for comparison but here goes what I think. In your second on I really like the "stack up" comment. It brings the paper to life. Your third introduction is good but it needs more urgency in the writing like you are actually running down the isle and looking for the best chips, it would make it more interesting. I think your first introduction is off-track and a little dull (sorry!) Overall, I like the third one the most.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your first introduction, it was different than others one I have read. The second one I have seen over and over again, I even did the same kind of technique haha, so the first one reallt stood out to me! Great job
ReplyDeleteCassie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed all of your introductions, they were very well done. I felt that i enjoyed the first intro more than all the others. I liked it so much because it caught my attention with it's dialogue and background info. Overall great job!
I really enjoyed all of your intoduction's. they all were very good to me. Im favoring your first intro more then the others. it grasped my attention using background information and good dialogue. very well done
ReplyDeleteI thought all of your new intorductions were very good. All of them got the readers attention, however the best one was the first. I liked this one the most because it is deifferent and tells the history of the potato chip in an interesting way.
ReplyDeleteHi Cassie,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you introduced this entry. I'd like to see you do the same in the others. I think it helps to have the reflections to introduce the drafts. You should probably consider switching that order of the others.
See Dan's entry like this one for more ideas about how to improve this further. You might consider including the original introduction in this post so that we have a point of comparison.
Then also reflect on eahc of the revised introductions. What about the comments from your peers? In the end, which one is your favorite and why? In the end, what did you learn about writing introductions? Explain that here. It might make for a great conclusion to theis posting. And also be sure to include that information in your letter to the reader when you introduce each of the pieces in the entire collection.
I hope this helps. I don't see the draft that you want feedback included on here. If you get it done and up here, please let me know and I'll surely give you that feedback but I probably won't get on here again but to give your portfolio a final evaluation. Right now, it is very incomplete and probably wouldn't earn a passing grade. Be sure to get those other pieces on here, the last piece you want feedback on and the letter to the reader to ensure a passing grade.
Let me know if you have any questions. I loved working with you and getting to know you this semester Cassie. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of the year and with whatever you have planned for next year.
Ms. Basko